If your pattern is that of insecurity in your relationship, you may fall into the trap of blaming your partner for it. In reality, it could be your past experiences that are causing the issue. If someone has betrayed your trust or created an environment of insecurity, learning to be confident will take work. However, it is possible to do it as you take responsibility for your actions and emotions.
Here are Some Tips on How to Gain More Confidence in Your Relationship
Know your worth
Building confidence in yourself is the first step to gaining confidence in your relationship or work. You need to practice self-love and believe in yourself. That is how you will know you deserve to find happiness in a healthy relationship. Even if something bad happens, you will know you are still worthy and can bounce back from hardship. Knowing your self-worth is, without a doubt, the first step to gaining confidence.
Take better care of yourself
You need to love yourself and learn to be a better version of yourself. Identify your strengths and embrace them. Do not belittle them because those traits of your character will come to your aid when you start overcoming your weaknesses. Start exercising if you are not, and eat healthily. Embrace other positive habits, like meditation, journaling, yoga and finding more time for recreation and self-improvement. When you are happy, your relationship is also happy.
Know what your needs are
When you know your needs, it is easier to know if your partner meets them and whether your relationship is fulfilling. It can sometimes be difficult to ask for what you need, especially when you lack confidence. But when you know your needs are not met, you will find the strength and courage to do so. That is how you will feel more confident in your relationship with your partner.
Overcome your limiting beliefs
You cannot become a better version of yourself if you constantly hold yourself back. Limiting beliefs impacts relationships most negatively. For example, if you think you are undeserving of love or feel insecure, you will not build up your relationship with your partner but rather tear it down. You must work to identify such beliefs and overcome them. Only then can you feel more confident and fulfilled in a relationship.
Let go of your past
If your past is still haunting you, whether due to mistakes or things you have experienced, you need to let go. These are all lessons you have had to go through, but they are not your whole story. They don’t need to shape your future and hold you back. Letting go of your past and accepting the things you have learned from it.
Be present in your relationship
If you are not present in your relationship but rather dwell in the past or worry about the future, you will never feel confident in the moment. The past is merely a memory, and the future does not exist. What matters most is the real moment, which you should always focus on. When you give your partner the gift of presence, you will never worry about your relationship.
Following the aforementioned tips is a great way to start building yourself up when it comes to confidence in a relationship. It takes time, but it’s a self-improvement act that will benefit you and your partner.
Nowadays, intimate relationships do not last very long. And the reason is that such relationships require the two people to find shared ground, commit to each other and overcome challenges.
Below are some of the major challenges and problems that modern relationships face and how to solve them.
If two intimate partners can master communication, they will face fewer problems together. After all, honest and effective communication is the basis for relationship success. But many couples stop communicating the way they used to or experience more confrontation than usual. To improve that, couples need to figure out where their communication is breaking down. Couples must understand that the other person is not reading minds and that honesty is the only way forward. Communication is a two-way street that requires effort from both parties involved.
Self-expression often means having relevant debates with your partner. Successful couples know how to argue by following simple rules, such as never using profanity, name-calling, taking time to respond and always staying on point. However, if they grow into spiteful arguments, they serve no good purpose. Partners should make time to discuss issues before they develop into greater challenges. They must express concerns peacefully and maintain respect. A couples therapist can help with that.
Staying close is a challenge
Over time, relationships change. Things that seemed important before may not phase one partner or the other anymore. After all, relationship dynamics are not the only thing changing; both partners are also involved in change. All of this doesn’t mean the relationship will fail, but there is a need for both parties to make some effort.
Intimacy and sex
A lot of the problems in a relationship stem from sex. Partners need to be honest about what they want and encourage others to do the same. Partners should respect each other’s needs and desires. Making some changes will likely make both of them equally happy. If there is a need, a sex therapist can greatly improve this relationship aspect.
Affairs in a relationship do not happen spontaneously, and they take different forms, like emotional cheating. For a relationship to survive after one partner has had an affair, both must be fully honest about what happened and work to resolve any issues. Cheating can break the trust between partners, which takes a lot of effort to fix.
Couples may argue over finances, especially during harder times. A couple faces quite an uncertain future if these problems still need to be resolved. Establishing who is responsible for what in the relationship regarding money is a good idea. Couples should work on their budgeting skills together to avoid problems.
Responsibilities at home may seem like a trivial issue to resolve, but in reality, many couples encounter large obstacles in that department. They feel resentful over who is dealing with what and become frustrated. To stay on top of that, the couple should keep all lines of communication open. Partners should let the other know they need help and discuss how best to accomplish tasks.
All these challenges are, without a doubt, big issues that couples can run into. It is most important to consider not the hardships but the good things that come out of a relationship and to strive to strengthen them.
© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach
When you are investing heavily in a relationship with someone who does not reciprocate back, it can feel horrible. All of your affection and kindness are falling on deaf ears. And it can be even worse if it is a repeat pattern you go through repeatedly.
The reality is that while it is not a good pattern to deal with, it is possible to overcome it. The issue comes from insecurity, a desire for validation (which rarely comes) and a general lack of self-esteem. If that feels like you, then read on for a few strategies to overcome this pattern:
These strategies make you more prepared to face the challenge of falling for emotionally unavailable partners and avoid this reality altogether.
Many people think it is uncommon for women to date an older man, but it is not that rare. But there is a certain combination of being experienced and providing that sense of stability that women find very attractive in older men.
If you are in a similar situation and unsure how to navigate such a relationship, you should learn the few essential dos and don'ts. Many external factors may influence your relationship or make it more challenging to progress. Here is the important list to follow.
The Dos of Dating an Older Man
The Don'ts of Dating an Older Man
Dating can be intimidating, especially if you have been trying your best with a minimal positive outcome. This may have to do with many different reasons, from low self-confidence to fear and anxiety of just putting yourself out there and accepting vulnerability with some stranger. Whether you want to find a casual fling or a more long-term relationship, you will do well to consider some of the best advice from dating coaches and experts:
These dating tips improve your chances of finding a person for a relationship. Employ them in your dating life, and you will see they can make a big difference.
There is always a bit of a risk when it comes to first dates. Maybe the person is not at all what they appeared to be when you texted, or they can outright ghost you. But you need to take a chance, to advance to a more meaningful relationship.
However, you should never ignore certain red flags that the other person might be sending. It is one thing to be hopeful and give them the benefit of the doubt. But closing your eyes to the outright bad things about them is not ideal. Here is what you should be mindful of:
Paying more attention to such red flags is not only important but mandatory if you don’t want to have problems down the road.
Many people don’t like the idea of dating a partner who is 10+ years younger/older than them. But sometimes attraction just happens and a relationship is built upon a large age gap. There are certainly ways to make it work, according to many relationship coaches. Let’s find out some of them:
Couples with a big age gap can make things work nicely for them. They just need to remember to communicate with openness and embrace their differences, to allow their connection to thrive.
Text messages are without a doubt a fantastic tool to keep in touch with people you are dating. You can communicate with ease with the press of a button, get to know each other, and share interesting conversations. But there is such a thing as texting too much and it is something you have to be aware of.
If you ever allow your texting to get out of hand, it has the potential to do you a lot of harm. For starters, it will change the way the other person thinks about you in a bad way. Instead of being interesting, they will view your texting as bothersome and can begin to shy away from this sort of contact. Following are a few of the red flags that you might be texting too much:
Knowing when you are texting too much can help you on the way of finding more meaningful communication. Be on the lookout for these warning signs that you are texting too much and correct your ways.
Have you ever experienced a situation where you think you are growing closer to your partner, before suddenly acting in what seems calculated ways to push them away? There is a greater emotional and physical distance between you, less interest in each other’s needs, tense communication and sometimes even unkind words.
There is a lot of hurt and confusion that can come in this sort of relationship dynamic, especially when one side deems it to be progressing nicely. If you feel like you are shutting down when a relationship builds up to a more serious phase, you should know that change is possible. However, it is important to consider the reasons why it happens before anything else:
So how do you change all that and let people in your life?
Many people grow confused over the state of their relationships nowadays. And it is not necessarily anything to do with their partner, but rather with the relationship itself and its nature. It is important to be able to understand the level of standards that the other holds the relationship to, or else there is a lot of confusion and stress. And while someone may think that seeing someone is equal to being in a relationship with them, there are many differences between them, which determine a lot about what the two people are having together. In this guide, we will go over the major aspects of the two and see where the differences lie.
What is dating?
Dating is the activity that a couple undertake together, during which they discuss the future of their relationship. This is usually the case after both partners have known each other for some time and have decided to work on their relationship more. And when both partners enjoy the company of the other and feel comfortable with them, they will enter the dating stage. That is when they will invest time and effort to learn more about the other and work on moving their relationship forward to living together, potentially marriage and having children. To that end, dating can also be seen as a trial period, which has the goal of testing the relationship that two people have. If there are any issues to one or both sides, they will become evident and the relationship may be terminated.
What is seeing someone?
In essence, seeing someone can be defined as a very early stage of a relationship, where partners are making their first steps towards one another. The relationship is not yet defined, as both partners have met recently and they are going out on dates to learn more about each other. Sometimes, one partner may have romantic intentions, but the other one lacking such. In this case, dating is very casual, without building any serious intention. One thing that defines this stage is the lack of commitment. Both partners may wish to invest some time to see each other, but they are not yet undertaking the more serious conversation that encompasses a relationship. The meetings between both partners may be inconsistent. But if things pick up, seeing each other can quickly grow into a relationship.
Major differences between seeing each other and being in a relationship
Knowing the difference between dating and seeing someone is important for everyone looking to invest time and effort into a partner. It means knowing which part of the relationship they are in so that they can set the right expectations.
© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach
If you are among the people who believe that it is never too late to date another person again, then you are in luck. The reality of things is that even people in their 50s can find pleasure in seeing other people again. There is much less drama going on in their lives, and they have their priorities straight. There is no need to feel any intimidation or stress when it comes to dating at a later age because it is fully possible to do it in a way that nets you that special someone. Here are a few useful tips in that regard:
Dating in your 50s is not all that impossible, as long as you adopt these clever tips and set your mind to it.
Relationship coaches help individuals as well as couples acquire and hone the skills for building and maintaining successful romantic relationships. The major focus is finding out current flaws within one’s character, as well as building conflict resolution skills that could lead to better intimacy and care. In the following guide, you can find out more about the work of a relationship coach, how they can help and the benefits of working with one.
The purpose of working with a relationship coach
To many people, a good relationship is the foundation of their happiness. But it is not always to find that special someone and make a relationship work for you and them both. Building and maintaining a committed relationship is no easy thing, especially if you have had trouble in the past. You need proper relating skills, to identify what is holding you back and work on self-improvement, to have a better chance. That is what a relationship coach can help with. They can address all of these issues and help every individual have a thriving relationship in their life.
How do they accomplish this?
The main focus of a relationship coach is to help individuals and couples learn the tools that help a relationship thrive. A coach can help people navigate their differences and conflicts, aid their communication and conflict resolution skills, all to the goal of becoming more successful partners. Coaches can uncover what makes partners happy and unhappy and focus on how to make the positives stand out more.
Difference between a relationship coach and a couple’s therapist
Even though a marriage coach and a relationship coach have somewhat similar approaches, couple’s therapy is different from what you will experience with a relationship coach. During the former, you will mostly talk through issues, with little practical tools. On the other hand, relationship coaches can provide certain practices that will help a person overcome their most challenging dynamics in a relationship.
What about the difference between a relationship coach and a dating coach?
Work with a dating coach is more focused on honing the skills needed to successfully land a date and the early stages of meeting someone. In contrast, a relationship coach is more geared towards boosting interpersonal skills and confidence. They can help in improving communication and intimacy with an existing partner. The skills they teach, such as vulnerability, empathy and attentive listening are used to hone one’s character and become a better individual.
How do you work with a relationship coach?
A relationship coach will most commonly first explore your greatest challenges. That way they will determine what you should work on. When the expert knows more about you, your ways of communication and how you interact with your partner, they can then begin teaching you the skills to overcome the present issues. They will know when you are passing the blame and not taking responsibility for your own mistakes, and they will teach you how to become more kind towards your partner, to soften the existing conflicts.
The benefits of working with a relationship coach
A relationship coach is the best source of information in the field of relationships whose knowledge and expertise you can tap into. If you have no idea what is wrong between you and your partner, but you know things aren’t as they used to be, a relationship coach can help you find out. The main benefit is that they will give you objective feedback and help you learn the skills to become a better person, not just for the sake of your relationship, but as a whole.
Breakups are never easy. If you have found yourself in this sort of situation, you know it can be tough to process and think about all of the overwhelming emotions you are experiencing. One thing that is very tough to figure out is when to start dating again. Some say you should get back to it immediately, to keep your mind off the negative emotions associated with the breakup. Others say it takes time before you are ready again.
The truth is there is no universal answer. The most important thing is how you feel about it and how well you are taking the breakup. If it has been a long relationship, you will need more time to heal your wounds and focus more on yourself. But there are some signs to look out for, which indicate you might be ready to date again. Here are a few of them:
There is no doubt that when these signs are present, you will be able to better tell it is time to start dating again.
If you have decided that you want to work with a relationship coach, then you need to consider finding the right person for the job. This may not prove to be as straightforward as you hope, considering that it has to be someone qualified that you click with well.
How do you go about the task of finding the right relationship coach? Well, some tips can greatly help you. Let’s find out more about them:
These are all important tips that you should consider when searching for a relationship coach.
Sometimes you may feel like the person you are with is the love of your life and that the relationship you are in with them is perfect. However, taking that for granted is one of the best ways to ruin it all.
And, for that connection to last, you have to learn what relationship styles can potentially ruin your relationship and work to avoid them. Here is a guide on a few of the most common patterns that fall in this category:
There is little doubt that all of these relationship patterns are bad and that you should do everything in your power to change them. Identifying them is always the first step to better change.
You may not realise it yet, but your love life and relationships could use some knowledge from attachment theory. According to it, our feelings of security and stable attachment are largely affected by our early years of childhood. Namely, a child’s sense of security and intimacy with their primary caregiver shapes to no small extent how they behave in relationships as adults.
Nowadays, attachment theory finds it great to use with many relationship coaches, who use it to pinpoint certain problems that people are experiencing in their love life. Since psychologists have refined the idea that childhood attachments are important in adult attachment styles in later life, it is only logical to utilise the concepts and empower people to have better romantic relationships.
It all starts with understanding the basic terminology of what attachment styles there are:
It is clear that all of these, save for the secure type, are characteristics of attachment insecurity. It is important to note that these are not extremes, but rather spectrums, and every single person rates on all of them. It is when these characteristics are strong enough to define their behaviour and belief about relationships that they become a problem.
Is it possible to get over the attachment style you have?
According to experts, it is not only possible but preferable to work on establishing your attachment style and doing what it takes to switch it to the secure type. It is also important to understand the core of the problem and where it stems from. It could be depression or early childhood trauma. It is the job of a therapist and a coach to help a person through it. The good thing about attachment is that even though a person could have a style, it is completely possible to revisit it and change it to secure. Some ways to do just that include:
Overall, changing your attachment style is a great way to improve the quality of your relationships and love life. You should not hesitate to invest in research and working with the right dating coach.