Many people think it is uncommon for women to date an older man, but it is not that rare. But there is a certain combination of being experienced and providing that sense of stability that women find very attractive in older men.
If you are in a similar situation and unsure how to navigate such a relationship, you should learn the few essential dos and don'ts. Many external factors may influence your relationship or make it more challenging to progress. Here is the important list to follow.
The Dos of Dating an Older Man
- Discuss what dating means to both of you – when you start things up with someone older than you by some 10-15 years, you both need to have absolute clarity about what you want to achieve in this relationship. For example, if you are in your 20s, you may consider someone dating for the experience. But will you let it become more serious in the long run? You need to discuss it to be on the same page, honestly.
- Learn from him – if there is one thing older men bring to the table in the relationship that no one else can, it has to be experienced. Keep an open mind at all times and learn from him.
- Relish your youth – don't feel guilty about being young when you are dating someone older than you. Youth is a gift that you should not skip. So when he doesn't feel like hiking, you should not cancel plans. In other words, the difference in your age should not become one of its major drawbacks if you don't let it.
- Do you want to pursue deep emotional intimacy with an older man? You need to be able to answer this question as you progress in your relationship affirmatively. Fine-tune your feelings – as the relationship goes on, you should keep in touch with your feelings.
The Don'ts of Dating an Older Man
- Don't insist on what he does not want – if you are both in for something casual and you become invested at some point, you should not push him into something he is not ready to invest in. You should be honest with him about his feelings and consider major factors like emotional baggage from his past and more clarity on his age, which can impact his decision to be with you.
- Don't lose your character and individuality – wise nature is probably one of the qualities that attract a young woman to an older man. But while it feels nice having a partner who can advise you along the way, you have to be mindful of him taking over your life. Speak your mind and stand up for yourself when you feel strongly about something.
- Don't pester him for the company – it is essential to do things together that you both enjoy. However, you should pester him about the things that are only interesting to you but do not sit well with him or are too demanding. Perhaps he may not be as inclined to do a pub crawl till the morning, but maybe he is more than happy to make a road trip.
- Don't assume he is feeling a certain way – regardless of how your relationship has started, you should not assume how he is feeling. If you ever think there is some ambiguity, you should have a discussion. Keep all channels open and have frank conversations about important matters.
© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach