Many people don’t like the idea of dating a partner who is 10+ years younger/older than them. But sometimes attraction just happens and a relationship is built upon a large age gap. There are certainly ways to make it work, according to many relationship coaches. Let’s find out some of them:
- Accepting differences – everyone is different and unique – is what makes humans so fascinating. Being diverse and knowing that there is no one else out there like you are important. But it is also important to not get so caught up in differences because that can cause problems in relationships. This is especially the case in a relationship where partners have a big age gap. You should not be focused on changing anyone, but rather to bridge your differences and come closer together.
- Agree to disagree – perhaps one of the most important things partners with big age differences should learn is to agree to disagree. Because they are of different generations, their views on a lot of aspects of life will be different. It is important to not focus on those disagreements, but instead to move forward despite them. Partners should openly discuss their opinions and be more open-minded toward their views. There is no reason not to be able to negotiate and accept the differences with a level of appreciation of each other’s views.
- Crack up with a sense of humour – when you are in a relationship with a big age gap, you should always retain a certain sense of humour. Now and then someone you know will be asking whether the person you are with is your mom/dad. If you don’t assume a position of just brushing it off, you will question yourself. If you are in a good relationship and you know it, you should use it to strengthen your love even further.
- Assurance to one another is important – in a relationship with a big age gap, both partners can feel insecure sometimes. One partner can worry that the other will lean towards something more within their age group, and this goes both ways. Again, partners should focus on what brings them together and why they chose each other in the first place. Reassuring each other is what glues the relationship together.
- You will be at different places in life at times – with a big age difference and a long-term relationship, both of you will be at different places in your life. For example, when one is already thinking about retirement, the other’s career could just have taken off. This leads to different lifestyles and you both need to accept it. You have to be understanding toward one another, as these transitions happen. You need to be ready for them and communicate clearly where each of you stands on the matter.
- Embrace the advantages of the age gap – who is to say that there are only negatives to work around in a relationship with a big age gap? Having a mature partner means you will never have to wonder about whether he is ready to commit or just leading you on. Besides, having a person with more life experience by your side is always a big plus. He can help you out of a difficult spot in life, or just provide what people of younger age cannot.
Couples with a big age gap can make things work nicely for them. They just need to remember to communicate with openness and embrace their differences, to allow their connection to thrive.
© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach