Dating is not an exact science, and everyone can fall victim to confusion, miscommunication and disappointment. The everyday mistakes we all experience don’t affect us much, but some crucial side steps can really hurt our love life.
A lot of couches agree that there are a few mistakes that women make in dating, which seem to stand out and lead to trouble:
Mistake #1 - Thinking that love comes easy - when you are on the lookout for a new job, you will probably spend a lot of time browsing through various job offers and companies that are looking to hire. So why is it then that many believe they can find love without really doing much? Thinking that you can have great success in love without really putting in the effort is just not true. Perhaps you have a friend who met their perfect match when they were not even trying. But that is an exception and not the rule. Stumbling into ‘The One’ is likely not going to happen, if you don’t put the effort in dating and meeting men.
Mistake #2 - Assuming a man’s exclusive without them hinting at it - this kind of mistake is one that can hurt you a lot. Assuming the man you have just met is exclusive usually happens because things are going great. However, most men will usually require some time to sell themselves on the idea of a relationship. They merge into exclusivity and don’t just swerve at it. You don’t need to think of this as a negative thing, but rather an opportunity. You can take your time to figure out if he’s the boyfriend material you initially thought.
Mistake #3 - Knowing he is the ' one’ in the first month of dating - while it is true a lot of people believe in love at first sight, the fact of the matter is that it takes some time to know someone and to know if they are right for you. Don’t trust ‘that feeling’ - it is nothing but a mix of hormones telling you that you feel good with him by your side. But all of that is craving without any guarantee for compatibility. Remember, before you trust the advice that ‘you will just know it is him’, there are 10 stories of women who didn’t test their compatibility and got burned. Allow the feeling of attraction to lead you to someone, but exercise caution in finding out if he is the right person for you.
Mistake #4 - Expecting only men to initiate interactions - a lot of women fall for the mistake of doing nothing to approach men and only expecting men to take the first step. But all this mindset leads to is essentially taking away the control all women have. It’s not only men who need to initiate interactions. They too fear rejection and have their demons to fight. Instead of waiting on them alone, you can give men green lights, i.e. make them feel like their chances with you are good so that they can overcome the fear of rejection.
Mistake #5- Blaming ‘modern dating’ for still being single - blaming your current situation on the circumstances is a quick way to disempower yourself, especially when it comes to dating. If anything, dating is much more accessible than ever before. Yes, there are more ways to cheat, more ways to fall into a miscommunication trap and more ways to jump ship, than invest in solving the issues. But you have the power to adapt and use the modern dating set to your advantage.
Identifying all of these mistakes is essential for ensuring that you make the most of dating and end up with a person you love.