Relationship coaches help individuals as well as couples acquire and hone the skills for building and maintaining successful romantic relationships. The major focus is finding out current flaws within one’s character, as well as building conflict resolution skills that could lead to better intimacy and care. In the following guide, you can find out more about the work of a relationship coach, how they can help and the benefits of working with one.
The purpose of working with a relationship coach
To many people, a good relationship is the foundation of their happiness. But it is not always to find that special someone and make a relationship work for you and them both. Building and maintaining a committed relationship is no easy thing, especially if you have had trouble in the past. You need proper relating skills, to identify what is holding you back and work on self-improvement, to have a better chance. That is what a relationship coach can help with. They can address all of these issues and help every individual have a thriving relationship in their life.
How do they accomplish this?
The main focus of a relationship coach is to help individuals and couples learn the tools that help a relationship thrive. A coach can help people navigate their differences and conflicts, aid their communication and conflict resolution skills, all to the goal of becoming more successful partners. Coaches can uncover what makes partners happy and unhappy and focus on how to make the positives stand out more.
Difference between a relationship coach and a couple’s therapist
Even though a marriage coach and a relationship coach have somewhat similar approaches, couple’s therapy is different from what you will experience with a relationship coach. During the former, you will mostly talk through issues, with little practical tools. On the other hand, relationship coaches can provide certain practices that will help a person overcome their most challenging dynamics in a relationship.
What about the difference between a relationship coach and a dating coach?
Work with a dating coach is more focused on honing the skills needed to successfully land a date and the early stages of meeting someone. In contrast, a relationship coach is more geared towards boosting interpersonal skills and confidence. They can help in improving communication and intimacy with an existing partner. The skills they teach, such as vulnerability, empathy and attentive listening are used to hone one’s character and become a better individual.
How do you work with a relationship coach?
A relationship coach will most commonly first explore your greatest challenges. That way they will determine what you should work on. When the expert knows more about you, your ways of communication and how you interact with your partner, they can then begin teaching you the skills to overcome the present issues. They will know when you are passing the blame and not taking responsibility for your own mistakes, and they will teach you how to become more kind towards your partner, to soften the existing conflicts.
The benefits of working with a relationship coach
A relationship coach is the best source of information in the field of relationships whose knowledge and expertise you can tap into. If you have no idea what is wrong between you and your partner, but you know things aren’t as they used to be, a relationship coach can help you find out. The main benefit is that they will give you objective feedback and help you learn the skills to become a better person, not just for the sake of your relationship, but as a whole.
Breakups are never easy. If you have found yourself in this sort of situation, you know it can be tough to process and think about all of the overwhelming emotions you are experiencing. One thing that is very tough to figure out is when to start dating again. Some say you should get back to it immediately, to keep your mind off the negative emotions associated with the breakup. Others say it takes time before you are ready again.
The truth is there is no universal answer. The most important thing is how you feel about it and how well you are taking the breakup. If it has been a long relationship, you will need more time to heal your wounds and focus more on yourself. But there are some signs to look out for, which indicate you might be ready to date again. Here are a few of them:
There is no doubt that when these signs are present, you will be able to better tell it is time to start dating again.
If you have decided that you want to work with a relationship coach, then you need to consider finding the right person for the job. This may not prove to be as straightforward as you hope, considering that it has to be someone qualified that you click with well.
How do you go about the task of finding the right relationship coach? Well, some tips can greatly help you. Let’s find out more about them:
These are all important tips that you should consider when searching for a relationship coach.
Sometimes you may feel like the person you are with is the love of your life and that the relationship you are in with them is perfect. However, taking that for granted is one of the best ways to ruin it all.
And, for that connection to last, you have to learn what relationship styles can potentially ruin your relationship and work to avoid them. Here is a guide on a few of the most common patterns that fall in this category:
There is little doubt that all of these relationship patterns are bad and that you should do everything in your power to change them. Identifying them is always the first step to better change.
You may not realise it yet, but your love life and relationships could use some knowledge from attachment theory. According to it, our feelings of security and stable attachment are largely affected by our early years of childhood. Namely, a child’s sense of security and intimacy with their primary caregiver shapes to no small extent how they behave in relationships as adults.
Nowadays, attachment theory finds it great to use with many relationship coaches, who use it to pinpoint certain problems that people are experiencing in their love life. Since psychologists have refined the idea that childhood attachments are important in adult attachment styles in later life, it is only logical to utilise the concepts and empower people to have better romantic relationships.
It all starts with understanding the basic terminology of what attachment styles there are:
It is clear that all of these, save for the secure type, are characteristics of attachment insecurity. It is important to note that these are not extremes, but rather spectrums, and every single person rates on all of them. It is when these characteristics are strong enough to define their behaviour and belief about relationships that they become a problem.
Is it possible to get over the attachment style you have?
According to experts, it is not only possible but preferable to work on establishing your attachment style and doing what it takes to switch it to the secure type. It is also important to understand the core of the problem and where it stems from. It could be depression or early childhood trauma. It is the job of a therapist and a coach to help a person through it. The good thing about attachment is that even though a person could have a style, it is completely possible to revisit it and change it to secure. Some ways to do just that include:
Overall, changing your attachment style is a great way to improve the quality of your relationships and love life. You should not hesitate to invest in research and working with the right dating coach.
Confidence often comes from self-love. Unfortunately, that is one major problem many people experience – they don’t love themselves. They don’t feel happy about themselves and focus too much on their flaws. Dislike follows and if that is not bad enough, it soon enough translates to dislike from other people as well.
Loving yourself is very important, especially if you are aiming at establishing a relationship with someone else. It will pave the way to self-confidence and change your outlook on the world to a more positive one. To love yourself more, you need to apply a few tips:
All of these tips aim to make yourself more. Each is an effective way that will boost self-confidence and make you a better person.
Dating is not an exact science, and everyone can fall victim to confusion, miscommunication and disappointment. The everyday mistakes we all experience don’t affect us much, but some crucial side steps can really hurt our love life.
A lot of couches agree that there are a few mistakes that women make in dating, which seem to stand out and lead to trouble:
Mistake #1 - Thinking that love comes easy - when you are on the lookout for a new job, you will probably spend a lot of time browsing through various job offers and companies that are looking to hire. So why is it then that many believe they can find love without really doing much? Thinking that you can have great success in love without really putting in the effort is just not true. Perhaps you have a friend who met their perfect match when they were not even trying. But that is an exception and not the rule. Stumbling into ‘The One’ is likely not going to happen, if you don’t put the effort in dating and meeting men.
Mistake #2 - Assuming a man’s exclusive without them hinting at it - this kind of mistake is one that can hurt you a lot. Assuming the man you have just met is exclusive usually happens because things are going great. However, most men will usually require some time to sell themselves on the idea of a relationship. They merge into exclusivity and don’t just swerve at it. You don’t need to think of this as a negative thing, but rather an opportunity. You can take your time to figure out if he’s the boyfriend material you initially thought.
Mistake #3 - Knowing he is the ' one’ in the first month of dating - while it is true a lot of people believe in love at first sight, the fact of the matter is that it takes some time to know someone and to know if they are right for you. Don’t trust ‘that feeling’ - it is nothing but a mix of hormones telling you that you feel good with him by your side. But all of that is craving without any guarantee for compatibility. Remember, before you trust the advice that ‘you will just know it is him’, there are 10 stories of women who didn’t test their compatibility and got burned. Allow the feeling of attraction to lead you to someone, but exercise caution in finding out if he is the right person for you.
Mistake #4 - Expecting only men to initiate interactions - a lot of women fall for the mistake of doing nothing to approach men and only expecting men to take the first step. But all this mindset leads to is essentially taking away the control all women have. It’s not only men who need to initiate interactions. They too fear rejection and have their demons to fight. Instead of waiting on them alone, you can give men green lights, i.e. make them feel like their chances with you are good so that they can overcome the fear of rejection.
Mistake #5- Blaming ‘modern dating’ for still being single - blaming your current situation on the circumstances is a quick way to disempower yourself, especially when it comes to dating. If anything, dating is much more accessible than ever before. Yes, there are more ways to cheat, more ways to fall into a miscommunication trap and more ways to jump ship, than invest in solving the issues. But you have the power to adapt and use the modern dating set to your advantage.
Identifying all of these mistakes is essential for ensuring that you make the most of dating and end up with a person you love.
Every single relationship out there experiences certain issues during its course. Arguments arise, intimacy suffers, stress levels increase, and before you know it, you are looking at the prospect of ending a relationship that may have lasted for a long time. In this guide, we will take a look at some of the most common relationship issues and what you can do to work them out.
People out there handle communication differently. Some like to talk about things, whereas others keep the word count low and instead like to act. Of course, communication problems are much more diverse than differences in communication style. Some couples develop issues over time, despite the fact they used to communicate well. It is important to focus not so much on the problem itself, but the cause of this miscommunication. Sometimes we cannot listen, to truly listen to what others are saying, and not just so that we can respond to their argument with one of our own. You can try the so-called talk time exercise. You and your partner get a few minutes each to say what is on your mind without any interruptions. It is important always to talk through your perspective and use ‘I’ statements, instead of addressing your partner mostly.
Some believe that infidelity is the apocalypse of all relationships, and it is easy to see why that is so. Affairs hardly ever happen out of the blue, as there is an underlying problem that caused them. Maybe you weren’t happy in your relationship before, your intimacy was lost, or something else triggered the act. While it is true that it is difficult to recover from the wounds and work on the issues, sometimes it is possible to do so. A third party counsellor may be helpful in that regard.
3. Feeling unappreciated
If you feel like your partner is not giving you enough time and appreciation in the relationship, don’t be afraid to discuss it. There is a difficult balance one must strive to achieve at times, between their job, children and their spouse. Talk about it and work out a solution that fits both of you. Sometimes it is a problem of communication – your partner notices what you do, but they don’t say it.
4. Money issues
Financial pressures can easily bring turmoil in a relationship. Honesty and open communication are key to solving this issue. It is never a good idea to keep a secret about debt from your partner. Being honest about your expenses and working a way to minimise them at times of crisis is essential. If one of you is a spender and the other is a saver, tension will rise in the relationship, if you don’t work a satisfying middle ground.
5. Sex problems
If your sex life doesn’t align, you need to be very careful in the communication you choose. It is essential to communicate openly, with compassion and understanding. Judging the other for what you think is a problem is going to add more fuel to the fire. Sometimes sexual issues stem from other issues between you. It is worth investigating whether that is the case and what these other issues are. By targeting the root cause of the problems, you will find the symptom of the sexual issues slowly disappear.
All of these are common problems that arise in a relationship. It takes dedication and understanding to resolve them successfully.